I found this post by following you from Anne Boyd’s Substack. Thank you for your honesty, Peter. I sort of flinched at that pork directing oldsters to refrain from talking about themselves. I’m 77, a novelist and short story writer, and the stories my peers tell about their lives often fascinate me.
I figured it out. Clearly I disagree with wasting our stories by never telling them. The trick is to work hard at only telling them when appropriate to the conversation and watching the non-verbals to shift away from our stuff when they are ready to move on. Then the conversation needs to shift to asking something about them.
Beautiful and honest reflections Peter. I love that you stopped counting how many times you cried on your fingers, tears are the cleansing and healing waters of love.
Peter, you capture well the importance of memory as a way to honor a loved one no longer present. It is a healthy way of that person living on with us and in us as one of the good parts of who we are because of who they were. Those people fed and nurtured us in ways that continue. We are blessed for the rest of our lives because of what they gave to us and that's why we can give to others. Thanks for giving of yourself too!
Peter, I must admit to skimming parts of your post. Nonetheless, the strength of your message is in the writing of the experience. - re-visiting reminds me of going through life's treasures and being able to release those things that no longer bear weight and pain on your soul.
Peter, thank you for sharing this post here. I think there is value in revisiting the early days of grief and reflecting on how it changes over time. Helpful, also, for other grievers to know they are not alone in those very raw and brutally painful feelings. It's all part of your story.
Thank you for your comment. I was a bit hesitant about posting it. It is reassuring that you perceive it as having potential for helping others who have experienced this sort of grief in their lives.
One doesn't make it to this time later in life without stories to tell. They have shaped who we have become and are still doing so. Many times when I re-experience one of those stories, I make new discoveries concerning who I am and how I came to be so. They are still still shaping me, just as the new experiences are adding to my story.
I found this post by following you from Anne Boyd’s Substack. Thank you for your honesty, Peter. I sort of flinched at that pork directing oldsters to refrain from talking about themselves. I’m 77, a novelist and short story writer, and the stories my peers tell about their lives often fascinate me.
Obviously, or maybe not, pork was supposed to be PART…😂
I figured it out. Clearly I disagree with wasting our stories by never telling them. The trick is to work hard at only telling them when appropriate to the conversation and watching the non-verbals to shift away from our stuff when they are ready to move on. Then the conversation needs to shift to asking something about them.
Beautiful and honest reflections Peter. I love that you stopped counting how many times you cried on your fingers, tears are the cleansing and healing waters of love.
Peter, you capture well the importance of memory as a way to honor a loved one no longer present. It is a healthy way of that person living on with us and in us as one of the good parts of who we are because of who they were. Those people fed and nurtured us in ways that continue. We are blessed for the rest of our lives because of what they gave to us and that's why we can give to others. Thanks for giving of yourself too!
Thanks, Gary. I appreciate your thoughtful reaction.
Peter, I must admit to skimming parts of your post. Nonetheless, the strength of your message is in the writing of the experience. - re-visiting reminds me of going through life's treasures and being able to release those things that no longer bear weight and pain on your soul.
Peter, thank you for sharing this post here. I think there is value in revisiting the early days of grief and reflecting on how it changes over time. Helpful, also, for other grievers to know they are not alone in those very raw and brutally painful feelings. It's all part of your story.
Thank you for your comment. I was a bit hesitant about posting it. It is reassuring that you perceive it as having potential for helping others who have experienced this sort of grief in their lives.
One doesn't make it to this time later in life without stories to tell. They have shaped who we have become and are still doing so. Many times when I re-experience one of those stories, I make new discoveries concerning who I am and how I came to be so. They are still still shaping me, just as the new experiences are adding to my story.